I recently returned from traveling to Myrtle Beach to
support my husband who was running in a marathon there. I started to think how
training for a marathon can give some perspective on the effort involved in a
successful marriage. First, a decision
has to be made to commit to do what it takes to complete the journey. Training for a marathon is hard work and
involves training the body, mind and spirit for the task. Marriage is also hard work and is most
successful when we are purposeful to train the body, mind and spirit for the
task of a healthy marriage.
In marathon training, the body work begins with running,
running and more running. Healthy eating
and good rest are also very important. Runners
train their bodies to burn sugars and fats differently then sedentary people so
that they can keep running for hours. A
married person uses their body differently than a single person as well. In a marriage, it is important for partners
to spend time together, to work on listening well to one another, to talk in a
supportive way one another, and to commit to sexual intimacy with that one
person. It will enhance your marriage to
train yourself to be willing to serve the other unexpectedly. It will be easier and more natural in
time. Look at your marriage. Do you involve yourself in an interest of your
partner’s that is not your interest? The
long-term rewards in your marriage will be many when partners are willing to
serve each other and be a part of each others’ interests.
As runners choose to run even though they’re feeling
out-of-sorts, to run when it’s raining outside, to run when their legs get
heavy; they are training their mind to be strong through the challenges of the
26.2 miles. You guessed it—our minds
need training in marriage. We see the good
and the bad of our partners and we need to train our thoughts to focus on the
good. After I had my children, I gained
50 pounds. My husband never said or
communicated anything but love and attraction to me even with the extra
weight. Now that I’ve lost the weight,
he still expresses love and attraction. He could have focused on the negative,
but he did not. He remained supportive
and hopeful. Our marriages will be
stronger if we train our minds to have a hopeful perspective: to believe
conflict can be resolved, to assume the best in our partners instead of the
worst, to quickly recognize expectations and what to do about them.
A runner needs motivating words and friends to encourage
their spirit. As a Christian, I look to
my relationship with God and with close friends to support my marriage. Do you have people around you that treat
their partners well? Do they brag about
their spouses or complain about them?
Choose to have friends that support your commitment to your relationship
and are committed to theirs. Choose a
friend or counselor that you can trust to help you through the hard times in
marriage, because everyone has those times as well.
With training and work, like the runner, you can be
successful!
